Depressmas

very depressing this write,
it hit the spot just right.
This year I'll spend it by myself
my girl is on
the otherside of the world
so instead of cheers
I say to all
you can go right
to hell
ba-mum-bug

excellent write my brother of the Dark!
Eddie.

A good change to have it pointed out that for many Christmas is depressing. I have a few alternate ideas that you can consider:
l-6 add me before to
l-8 try :Christmas, a day filled with regret
l-11 replace and with a comma
l-16 trade when for in which
l-20 try : My Christmases are filled with gray
l-30 wish Stan would leave my poem alone................stan

hood I love this one dark and depressing
it's easy to understand, reads well,
" A lousy tree and pathetic lights
a dark winter full of freezing nights"
that line really gets to grips with the heart
of the write ,,,,,,,zigs,

has already said the things I might say about the tweaks you might make, so I will just say; "I will try to find the joy, in seeing others happy." Bah, Humbug! It's not working. ~ Gee

Dan,

Having been privy to this one before posting, you know what I think of it, which is that it is really good. I understand why you kept the title, but it still bothers me a little.

But a great job as usual.

Lou

This piece reminds me of the lyrics to an old Melanie song:

In the hour when the sun shines shines bright
On my head in the city where I am alone,
I never think of that once told story
When two flowers almost were one.
But what to do?
I still think in the morning of you.

When darkness hovers and city lights take over
I am blinded to the words "I am alone".
It's useless to cry for a star in the sky,
For the city lights tell me there's none.
But what to do?
I still cry in the morning for you.

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/in-the-hour-lyrics-melanie.html ]

When my head touches my pillow I am too weary
To dare dream that I am alone.
Now I lay myself down to sleep,
I pray the Lord his soul to keep is my song.
But what to do?
I still dream in the morning for you.
What to do?
I still cry in the morning for you.

I just wanted to share this with you, as it is one of my favorites. Depressing... I know...

Great piece!

love, Cat

p.s.
I especially liked the lines that ziggy pointed out.

I really enjoyed this poem. It's very, very rare that I enjoy a poem that rhymes, but you managed to keep a smooth rhythm and meter throughout the whole poem and it turned out great! I'm sorry that you had these sorts of feelings during the holidays - I've been there before and it sucks!

However, I'm glad to see I'm not the only person who writes depressing poetry. A few years ago my husband mentioned that most of my poetry was depressing, and I almost stopped writing. (I figured the world was full enough of depressing stuff that it didn't need me adding to it). But I didn't, thanks to Bukowski. ;-)

of many solitary Christmases I have had. It was different this year, of course with a little child of my own. But then again, I relate well to depressmass as I have been there myself. And sometimes the bite is still there. I am very pleased to have enjoyed this expressive poem. All the best to you this freshly started year. CB

I can sympathise fully with this write. Holidays as of about 6 or 7 years ago have been a little less cheerful, as I too lost someone special. I have many fond memories of family gatherings round Christmas with her and my Uncle's presence, and it pains me greatly to know that I'll never experience that with her again. The rawness and the emotion definitely flow in this piece, Dan, and I'm sorry that you experienced such pain.