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Dec 02, 2012
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The Depths
Drifting in slowly, the early morning fog of
love’s heat colliding softly with the chill of emptiness.
The total being wrapped within a deep damp mist.
Thoughts just drunken derelicts bumping
together in the haze, adding nothing but confusion.
Mental compass points obscured.
Loneliness the soul mate now.
The stillness finally shattered by the
silent scream for help that only God can hear.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Geezer
12 years 7 months ago
Very nice...
descriptive writing. This feels somewhat like Haiku. Very somber. ~ Geezer