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Jun 07, 2025
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Destruction of Men
1895 was the year
Wells printed the tale
of a time machine
and a world so frail.
The story showed the
world clean and bright
that became mankind
brimming with fright.
The days showed innovations
the cosmos did include
until 802,701 when they
hunted folks for food.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
2 weeks 4 days ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem draws on H.G. Wells’s "The Time Machine" as its central reference, using the novel’s timeline and themes to meditate on human progress and decline. The structure is consistent, with short lines and a clear rhyme scheme, which gives the poem a rhythmic, almost nursery-rhyme quality that contrasts with its dark subject matter.
The poem’s allusions to specific years and events (“1895,” “802,701”) anchor the reader in both historical and speculative contexts, but the leap from the Victorian era to the distant future is abrupt. This approach mirrors the novel’s own temporal jump but may leave readers unfamiliar with the source material without enough context to fully grasp the implications. The line “hunted folks for food” is a direct reference to the Morlocks and Eloi, but the poem does not explicitly name these groups, which could either be seen as an effective use of allusion or as a missed opportunity for richer imagery.
The language is straightforward, sometimes at the expense of evocative detail. Phrases like “world clean and bright” and “brimming with fright” are general and could be deepened with more specific or sensory imagery. The poem’s tone is somber, but the emotional impact is somewhat muted by the reliance on summary rather than scene or metaphor.
The theme of technological progress leading to unforeseen consequences is present, but the poem could benefit from more exploration of this idea—perhaps by drawing parallels between the eras mentioned or by reflecting on the cyclical nature of destruction and innovation. The poem’s brevity is effective in conveying a sense of inevitability, but expanding on the emotional or philosophical implications might create a more resonant piece.
Overall, the poem successfully references a classic work and encapsulates its central cautionary message, but it could be strengthened by more vivid imagery, deeper engagement with its themes, and a clearer sense of narrative or emotional progression.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
2 weeks 4 days ago
hello Punky!
I tried to comment but neo booted me in the rump
Punkyfrewster
2 weeks 4 days ago
Cat,
That stinks!