Detached

A touching piece indeed. I wonder you're saying that you've not received any comments.
A strong sad feeling overwhelms as I finished reading the last few lines.

If I'd suggest anything I'd play again with the breaks between the stanzas (lination again)
but it is probably only me. It is always your piece and I am sure you did it the way you did deliberately. But see how I would do it. Hope you don't mind it.

There came a knock

Time had come to call
upon my friend

not me.

Almost everything
was taken except
for a box packed
and left

empty

of paper and pictures
with little meaning
when the people in
them no longer
have memories

I pulled the linens
from the bed
pissed and soiled
like a diaper wrapped
around a bottom

too new to care
for itself

I flipped the mattress
over and fell asleep
tracing words that leapt
with rage

from a blank
journal page

I thought this way it would more effectively keep the rhythm and the coherence of the message intended.

Anyway, much enjoyed though as I said it is sad.

I felt tremendously sad after I read your final words, This is a really great poem I love the one word in between the stanza's I often do it

http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/extract-0

this is a very old poem in which I used the same technique for effect

I really enjoyed reading this even though it was so very sad

love JC x

If I have a problem... it is this.
With the strange line breaks (not bad, just eclectic) I think the poem NEEDS punctuation to clarify where we are going.
Without it, we have a tendency to wander instead of taking those dramatic pauses needed for the single word.
Otherwise, the imagery is powerful.
You weren't ignored because the poem is poor, you were ignored because there is so much good stuff on site. Therefore, rejoice- NeoPoet is obviously an active and viable venue.
Welcome back.
What's your next workshop going to be about?

I agree with everyone. I share JC's thoughts as well. Rula has given a good advice and Wes has acknowledged that this piece has powerful imagery, something which I am not good at. Keep on writing.

Alid