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Dimming Light
Jeopardizing frailty
take hold of not me,
but disperse upon settling thoughts,
those fields where arouse not yet met.
Compensate forth
a dear like friend,
atone fruitfully
the strength withdrawn from my grasp
when the mere sight of light
lifted my kind,
that period of grace
doomed to swell in an unkind manner,
that period of grace
contemplating falsifier takes.
For seasoned waits
have time again exposed pearled care,
wringing forth a shade of despair;
porcelain shell
wraps immobile countless days,
where silking touch cannot compensate
for my stolen, awaiting state.
Again alone,
engulfing drapes drown dreams,
dreams realistic in being seemed.
One,
one not found,
no wholesome attire draws existence,
for there I wake
upon no baring sun to lead me forth, to bare me care.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
12 years 5 months ago
Layune
I will resurrect this one from 2011 it tripped me up on the first few lines but I think it will be worth it to edit and have a juggle with the words a little.
Have fun, Yours Ian.T