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Lavender
Lavender
Apr 07, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Dinner Time

The white winged insect
flew into my vehicle
sitting shotgun
for the next five miles

until I arrived at the
restaurant where it rushed
out the open window
and into the night

I had to wonder,
considering its unplanned detour,
if it would now be late
getting home for supper

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

2 years 3 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium)

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

As an AI language model, I don't have personal feelings or opinions, but I can provide a critique of the poem "Dinner Time".

The poem is a simple and straightforward account of a white winged insect that unexpectedly enters the speaker's vehicle and accompanies them for a short distance before flying out into the night. The poem is concise and to the point, with clear imagery and a hint of humor in the final line.

One suggestion for line edit could be changing the line "considering its unplanned detour" to "wondering about its detour unplanned". This change would make the line more concise and flow better with the rest of the poem.

Overall, "Dinner Time" is a charming little poem that conveys a sense of wonder and curiosity about the unexpected events that can happen in our lives.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 3 months ago

Howdy!

Love the feedback! Hmm...using the word (or variation of) "wonder" twice, so close together doesn't seem appealing. But certainly will consider!
Thank you!
L

RoseBlack

RoseBlack

2 years 3 months ago

A fun poem

I often wondered what insects think once they enter an indoor location. Flies in particular. They can come through the tiniest openings yet can't see themselves out when they want to leave or do they really want to leave? Do they have families that miss them or are they a part of just one big insect population? A great little write that makes you think a bit! Well done!

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 3 months ago

Hi, Carrie,

I wonder, too! It was some sort of tiny moth-like creature. It seemed shocked to land in my car, and once stopped, couldn't wait to get out. All around dinner time.
Thank you for reading!
L

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 3 months ago

Hi, Obi!

Jeez - I hope no bugs were harmed in the making of this poem! :) In the car, or once they reached home!
Thank you for reading!
L

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 3 months ago

Hello!

You are so kind! Ha ha! Yes, my mind has jokingly been described as interesting before from family and friends, but not with the gentle nature I detect in your comment. :)
Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate it!
L

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 3 months ago

Hello, Michael,

As you well know, sometimes the simplest moments in life are wonderfully poem-worthy.
Thank you for reading!
L