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Nov 25, 2024
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The door
My feet are melded to the concrete
as though a hundred stoney fingers
are fused to the soles
and the only way to step forward
is by tearing hard enough
to leave skin behind.
They only let go when I walk away.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
7 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem effectively conveys a sense of being stuck or trapped, both physically and emotionally. The imagery of feet melded to concrete and the struggle to move forward is vivid and evocative. The use of metaphor with "a hundred stoney fingers" adds depth to the description of feeling immobilized. The ending lines suggest a release or liberation when the speaker decides to walk away. Consider exploring the emotions or thoughts that led to this feeling of being stuck to provide more context and depth to the poem. Additionally, you may want to experiment with the structure or form of the poem to enhance its impact on the reader.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
7 months ago
Hello dear
This has a real feeling of pain to it. Hope it's not all biographical.
Your last line shows however the determination to move on. I hope this to be the first step for new beginnings.
I like the brevity of this. You've absolutely said much in few words!
Best wishes
Lavender
6 months 4 weeks ago
The Door
Hello, Violet,
What a great title! It says it all!
I hope you made it through, in spite of bearing the pain.
Thank you!
Lavender