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Jul 08, 2023
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A dove-like departure
A dove-like departure
Though it hurts, to part
In my heart, I know that every goodbye is a new hello
You altered my perception
Perhaps you taught me a bit about deception
You may have also taught me of love
Yet you now depart and fly away as would a dove
I treaded with you to unacquainted lanes
To far-off lands, to distant plains
My little world expanded
Momentarily I no longer felt stranded
I was liberated of banality with you
The chains were broken, and I was filled with vitality
Alas our adventure had to come to an end
Someday I know that we’ll meet around the bend
For now, all I know is, you left a mark
Part of it is dark part of it is bright
Yet I do not regard the memory of you as a plight
For you taught me of the eccentricity of life
The memory of you rings of a sweet melancholy
Your outlooks confounded me
And yet they also astounded me
You opened my eyes to the triviality of life
To the banality of our seemingly significant sorrows
How in reality our grand worth is an illusion
Fused by a delusion
So open my heart using the key
Fly away but don’t forget to take a part of me
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
neopoet
1 year 11 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "A dove-like departure" explores the theme of parting ways with someone and the impact they have had on the speaker's life. The imagery of a dove and the metaphor of departure are effectively used to convey the emotions associated with saying goodbye. The poem also touches upon the notions of deception, love, and personal growth.
One suggestion for improvement is to consider refining the structure and flow of the poem. While the overall narrative is clear, some lines and stanzas could benefit from tighter phrasing and more concise language. This would help maintain a consistent rhythm and enhance the impact of the imagery and emotions being conveyed.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from further exploration and development of certain ideas. For example, the concept of "the eccentricity of life" and the "triviality of life" could be expanded upon to provide more depth and insight. Consider delving into specific examples or experiences that illustrate these ideas, allowing the reader to connect more deeply with the themes being explored.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact