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Drifting Away
The more I love
the more you drift away
why do you do it
in such a way
Life is meant to enjoy
I pray
just follow my pathway
As you don’t love to do
what I want you to
then blame me not
for the shallow river
where I leave you
knowing not
that you can’t swim
use your imagery
and remember
that life can be lonely
after me
who will salvage you
and
upon whose shoulder will you rest
have you ever thought of it
I am still holding on
but for how long
who can that forecast
when my physical body
to flames will be cast
soon I will be an envelope
worth of ashes
just to be strewn about
the distant forest
I don’t want to be buried!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Eumolpus
6 years ago
nice poem
it might have been written by Sappho 3 thousand years ago, or Horace or Petronius, or in mideveal times of the Carmina Burana, or a troubadour. But it's written by you and has a bit of your mark on it.
It is perhaps the most common of themes of all love poetry and song. That doesn't mean we have to stop doing it. Nobody said it just this way:
As you don’t love to do
what I want you to
then blame me not
for the shallow river
where I leave you
So good for you.
Sorry i don't see the ending, the last line is so flat.
And I would not end a poem like this with a period. End with an exclamation point!
(and read Sappho!!)
Also, as per my last comment, read TS Eliot, Sappho, Dylan Thomas, WS Merwin..start there!
lovedone
6 years ago
I don’t want to be buried! perod vanished!
Thanks EUMOL
You have been a real inspiration
Hence i will post here only
lost lovedly identity
to a forgotten pass word
how silly Internet can be