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V
vexations10
Jun 29, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Drops of Compulsion

Faded circles of bourbon stains
dot her weathered nightstand’s surface
like stars speckle the midnight sky.
Each remnant commemorates her
quest for sleep, a prop of courage
consumed to help forge another day.

Bras, slips, heels and flats
pepper the carpet
reflections of impediments
that fleck her soul.

Harbored distortions from her past
forgiven by those who know her
forgotten by others
festers in her frontal lobe.

Rain pelts her window
rat-tat, rat-tats against the panes
bangs her door with a compulsion
to fling open her mind
and let today’s downpour
splash away each trace of her anguish.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Comments

K

Kailashana2

14 years ago

I like this poem except for

I like this poem except for the pus/acne line....the poem is too elegant. It would be enough to end with fester in her mind. Let our minds fill in the blank...

~A

Geezer

Geezer

14 years ago

How about...

I like the simplicity of just festers in her mind. You made this poem describe a scene very vividly, and I can relate to it. My father was an alcoholic, and it sounds very familiar. Great descriptive lines! ~ Gee

S

scribbler

13 years 12 months ago

hi vex

For some reason while reading this Sinatra's song "my way" came to mind. Spotted one typo :either distortions fester or distortion festers. Also in line 3, comparing cup rings to stars seemed a little off to me.Maybe like halos around the midnight moon? Very vivid descriptive poem..............stan

V

vexations10

13 years 12 months ago

Danger

of edits. I changed the line about the fester without changing the previous line. Thanks....Enjoy the 4th, looks like it is going to be hot as hades.