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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 08/03/25 to 08/09/25

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Each Day

We take for granted all our hours and days
Knowing we exist in a lifelong phase

A limited time to achieve our goals
Struggling to fulfill our expected roles

Each precious hour is taken up with speed
Without considering our daily need

Every minute creates a daily stage
Urging us to turn each and every page

Whatever thoughts we cultivate each day
Reminding us that they are here to stay

Moreover we should think about each day
Knowing how quickly it could fade away

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 4 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem addresses the theme of time’s fleeting nature and the importance of mindfulness. The structure is consistent, with couplets throughout, which provides a sense of order and predictability. However, the rhyme scheme occasionally leads to forced phrasing (“Knowing we are in a phase”; “Keeps us knowing how to climb”), which can detract from clarity and impact. Consider revising lines where the rhyme seems to dictate the content rather than support it.

The poem’s diction is straightforward, but at times it verges on abstraction (“Whatever thoughts we have in time / Keeps us knowing how to climb”), which may leave the reader wanting more concrete imagery or specific examples. Incorporating sensory details or personal anecdotes could help ground the poem and make its message more resonant.

There are minor grammatical issues, such as subject-verb agreement (“Whatever thoughts we have in time / Keeps us knowing...”) and a typographical error in the final couplet (“An realize” should be “And realize”). Attention to these details would strengthen the poem’s overall presentation.

The poem’s message is clear and accessible, but it risks reiterating familiar ideas without offering a new perspective or emotional depth. Exploring a unique angle on the passage of time or including moments of vulnerability could help the poem stand out and connect more deeply with readers.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 4 weeks ago

Thoughtful...

I think that a smoother read could make this a bit more relatable.
Consider adding or deleting syllables and/or words to make the meter a bit more even. Thoughtful and wondering about how we spend our time in a rush, this speaks to slowing down and taking a breath now and then. Good, but it can be better. ~ Geez.

Clentin

Clentin

1 month 3 weeks ago

I did make changes,…

I did make changes, eliminated 1 stanza, each line has 10 syllables. Changed some other words.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

1 month 4 weeks ago

Dear Clentin,

It is very true, most of us are in much too much of a rush to stuff as many things into the short space of their day. I agree with Geezer on your poem. It is good but could be better with some editing. three out of four thumbs up!

fondly, Cat

Clentin

Clentin

1 month 3 weeks ago

I did make changes,…

I did make changes, eliminated 1 stanza, each line has 10 syllables. Changed some other words.

Lavender

Lavender

1 month 3 weeks ago

Each Day

Hello, Clentin,

I agree with the entire poem's meaning, the final line speaks to me in abundance.

Thank you!

L