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Each Other, Both the Skew

I spied you by the shadows
in the shadows of my mind,
you made my dreams seem dizzy, come what may;

When I left you in the shadows,
I left you off for good,
seems it's you controls what happens on this day.

You lured among the gables
lurked by the cottages,
everything went fuzzy for a while;

something went electric
in the chilly, by the hearth;
I really must insist on but, a smile.

Deep into the evening
invisibility occurred,
not to mention dizzy dreams, and come what may;

Then I left you in the shadows
in a place ye would not fear;
while you were laughing, I gently slipped away.

I viewed you in the shadows
didn't think it were my turn
but the turnstiles thread each other, both the skew;

when I left you in the shadows
I believed 'twas understood,
do this to me; 'twill happen twice, or more for you.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A rrreallllllllllll rough draft.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

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Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

12 years 11 months ago

hello doc,

I like these lines:

Deep into the evening
invisibility occurred,
not to mention dizzy dreams, and come what may;

Then I left you in the shadows
in a place ye would not fear;
while you were laughing, I gently slipped away.

It reminded me of someone dear to my heart, but now departed.

always, Cat

docmaverick

docmaverick

12 years 11 months ago

and Cat....

...then, a memory returns much the same as smoke in the wind.
doc.