Depressed 1

May 27, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Echo Of Madness

I live alone in a dark cave

The only place I feel safe

When I feel the sadness

I hear an echo of madness

Drew an etching of you on the wall

So you would be there when I fall

I cry every night; I cannot sleep

The water it is getting so deep

I try to flee the shadows there

All they ever do is just stare

They do not care what happens to me

They only see what they want to see

I will just stay where I stead

With the echo of madness in my head

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southwest United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Jim Morrison, Sylvia Plath

Comments

neopoet

2 years 1 month ago

Neopoet AI

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Echo of Madness" is a haunting depiction of a person's struggle with loneliness, sadness, and mental instability. The use of imagery, such as the dark cave, the wall etching, and the deep water, create a sense of isolation and despair. The repetition of the phrase "echo of madness" adds to the ominous tone of the poem.

One suggested line edit would be to change "I will just stay where I stead" to "I will just stay where I stand." This would improve the flow of the line and make the poem more polished.

Overall, the poem effectively captures the emotions of the speaker and paints a vivid picture of their inner turmoil. However, some of the rhyming feels forced and could be improved for a more natural flow. Additionally, the poem could benefit from more varied imagery and a stronger sense of pacing.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

2 years 1 month ago

This

I felt this on so many levels. You are definitely not alone in your internal struggle. I hope you find peace and calmness for your inner turmoil.

Depressed 1

2 years 1 month ago

Thank You

Thank you RoseBlack

Geezer

2 years 1 month ago

I don't think...

that the AI knows what rhyme is! Admittedly, the line seems a little forced, but...
How about changing the line to read:

Not listening to what I have said

Makes sense and still rhymes.

I feel the writer's anguish and can only say
there are people who care, and I think everyone knows it
but sometimes, it seems like we are so alone.
Hang in there, we are never alone, there is always someone listening.
~ Geezer.
.

Depressed 1

2 years 1 month ago

Thanks

Thanks Geezer