Eleven

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Eleven" effectively uses symbolism and narrative to convey a dream-like experience and subsequent realization. The number eleven and the character Shaya serve as central symbols, though their meanings are left ambiguous, inviting the reader to interpret their significance.

However, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery. While the "white bedhead" and "tombstone" provide some visual grounding, more sensory details could enrich the dream sequence and make the emotions more palpable.

The transition from the dream to the realization is abrupt. The poem might benefit from a smoother transition that more clearly connects the dream and the subsequent understanding. This could be achieved by adding more lines to bridge the two sections or by using a recurring image or motif.

The poem ends on a note of comfort and understanding, but it is unclear how the speaker arrives at this feeling. Providing more insight into the speaker's thought process could make the final sentiment more convincing.

The poem's structure is simple and straightforward, which suits the narrative style. However, experimenting with line breaks and stanza structure could add another layer of meaning and enhance the rhythm.

Lastly, the poem could delve deeper into the character of Shaya. As it stands, Shaya seems to be a significant figure in the speaker's dream, but the reader is given little information about him. Fleshing out this character could add depth to the poem and strengthen the emotional impact.

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I can appreciate the courage that it takes to write and post a poem that is so deeply personal to you, on a public space. I agree, that you might give a hint as to what the dream meant or how you relate to it, but you really should indicate that Shaya is your husband with the line that goes:

"Along with that number,
Came Shaya, [my husband]."

I think that you have mixed your tenses in the last lines; and in addition, you should replace the word [only] with [just] rather than have the two [only] in close proximity.
I would write it this way:

I just understood
How good I felt,
Not only
To see Shaya,
But to comprehend
That I would be okay.

~ Geezer.
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glad to be of assistance. ~ Geezer.
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