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Elizabeth’s dream.

When I departed Elizabeth’s dream
nobody heard her imperious screams
Silent they were to this treacherous boy
ragging on antipodean soil

Silent they were to this frenzied ear
Clearing the air in some hemisphere
as earth is to earth, I’m the heir
of a strangling secret that no-one dare

Talk without shame, in polite company
though this is a thing all feel quite plainly
When Elizabeth vein, lowers her drawers
and all of the commoners, shown to the door-

Perhaps that vestibule, pitched where they are
will congregate swiftly, talking of scars
finely fine, blend unblemished air
And all those lost souls will know

What it was to be fair.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Alright, "structured-ish"- this literally was a dream, more of a song, a lyric idea of fleeing the old country and finding new secrets down under. Wanted to get out while raw, hope it strikes a chord. cheers.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Tasmania, AUS

Favorite Poets: Glen Richards, Thomas Hardy, Phillip Larkin, Robert Frost, William Carlos Williams, Carol Ann Duffy , Ani DiFranco, Seamus Heaney, Emily Dickinson, T. S. Elliot

More from this author

Comments

V

valene

7 years 4 months ago

But for a couple of lines,

some word swapping and choices, i think you've let the chick out.

Nice work, enjoyed.

Best wishes....val

vandiemenspeak

vandiemenspeak

7 years 4 months ago

Thanks Valene

Swift editing will resume. Some shunted forced rhymes etc. It's still rough, I will take your suggestions on board. Thank you.

Chris.

Obadiah Grey

Obadiah Grey

7 years 4 months ago

Awwww, I'm glad its only

Awwww, I'm glad its only "structured-ish", it allows for the pedant in me to say,,
whoooo, this could be good ! but for a few omitted salient words, (in essence, I'm jealous)

Obi.