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Jan 13, 2025
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The end of the beginning
I've reached the end of the beginning
In my mind.
I've seen it
So clearly.
It came to me
In my dreams
But it's finally here for real.
I began together
With Shaya.
Then came Sarah
Then came Faye.
Then there was "we" and "us".
This was the beginning
Of the real thing.
My beginning ended on the thirteenth.
There was a new "we" now,
My A Team.
Now I am working on the end.
Today "we"
Only a quarter of the A Team
Are going to end the story
That began forty-one years ago.
Time and therapy
Worked me through this
And enabled me to reach this end.
This is the way I feel
About it.
Today is a watershed for me.
I feel the power and the strength
Of what we are doing.
The phone call yesterday
Confirmed this for me.
I'm in the real world
Making real decisions.
I'm releasing my thoughts
And announcing my expectations
About today
And what we will be doing.
I'm clearing my mind
Totally.
I am finding peace
And facing my fears in an open way.
This is what today
Is all about for me.
I'm ending my beginning
In a very real way
And feeling so good about it.
It has long been coming
For me.
I'm not alone.
I'm doing this together with Faye.
I took her offer up
Without even a small thought.
This is happening
For real,
For me,
Today.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I am heading off today today to purchase a tombstone for my husband, finally. It has been a longer period of time than I imagined it would be, but it is happening today. Luckily for me, Faye decided to come with me. It is the end of a journey that is , I think , taking place at the right time and in the right way for me. I am going to deal with it with forethought for my children, who deserve a decision made in the right way. But, ultimately, for me personally, the title says it all . It is for me the end of the beginning and also the beginning of the end.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem, "The end of the beginning," presents a narrative of personal growth and transformation, using the metaphor of 'beginnings' and 'ends' to symbolize different stages of the speaker's life. The speaker's journey is depicted through the use of direct speech and introspection, which gives the poem a confessional tone.
The poem could benefit from more concrete imagery to better illustrate the speaker's experiences. The abstract language used throughout the poem, such as "I've reached the end of the beginning" and "I'm ending my beginning," while effective in conveying the speaker's emotional state, could be supplemented with more specific details to make the speaker's journey more relatable to the reader.
The poem also uses repetition, particularly of the pronouns "I" and "we," to emphasize the speaker's personal journey and the importance of community in this journey. However, the frequent use of these pronouns can make the poem feel somewhat monotonous. Varying sentence structure and exploring other ways to convey the speaker's experiences could help to maintain reader interest.
The poem's structure, which consists of free verse with no consistent rhyme or meter, reflects the speaker's introspective and free-flowing thoughts. However, the poem could benefit from more varied line lengths and stanza structures to create a more dynamic rhythm and pace.
The speaker's voice is clear and consistent throughout the poem, effectively conveying their emotional journey. However, the speaker's emotions could be further developed through the use of more evocative language and imagery.
The poem's theme of personal growth and transformation is a universal one that many readers can relate to. However, the poem could delve deeper into this theme by exploring the specific challenges and triumphs the speaker has faced in their journey. This would add depth to the poem and make the speaker's experiences more engaging for the reader.
In conclusion, while the poem effectively conveys the speaker's emotional journey, it could benefit from more concrete imagery, varied sentence structure, and a deeper exploration of the poem's theme.
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Lavender
6 months ago
The End of the Beginning
Hello, Gogetter,
I, too, lost my husband - it's been over 15 years. So much in your piece and in your last few words is relatable. A major step moving forward, at your own pace, in your own time. Some day you will read these poems again, perhaps in a different light, and you will be thankful that you wrote and shared them. All part of your journey.
Warm regards,
L
The Gogetter
6 months ago
Thank you so much for these comments
I am happy that you could relate to this Lavender. Sometimes, when I put the words on the stream, I am uncertain as to whether or not I have covered it all. I am on a voyage of discovery about mindfulness and poetry and journaling are a significant part of that journey. That is what the last few lines were all about, at least for me, in this moment.