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Jan 13, 2025
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The end of the beginning
I've reached the end of the beginning
In my mind.
I've seen it
So clearly.
It came to me
In my dreams
But it's finally here for real.
I began together
With Shaya.
Then came Sarah
Then came Faye.
Then there was "we" and "us".
This was the beginning
Of the real thing.
My beginning ended on the thirteenth.
There was a new "we" now,
My A Team.
Now I am working on the end.
Today "we"
Only a quarter of the A Team
Are going to end the story
That began forty-one years ago.
Time and therapy
Worked me through this
And enabled me to reach this end.
This is the way I feel
About it.
Today is a watershed for me.
I feel the power and the strength
Of what we are doing.
The phone call yesterday
Confirmed this for me.
I'm in the real world
Making real decisions.
I'm releasing my thoughts
And announcing my expectations
About today
And what we will be doing.
I'm clearing my mind
Totally.
I am finding peace
And facing my fears in an open way.
This is what today
Is all about for me.
I'm ending my beginning
In a very real way
And feeling so good about it.
It has long been coming
For me.
I'm not alone.
I'm doing this together with Faye.
I took her offer up
Without even a small thought.
This is happening
For real,
For me,
Today.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I am heading off today today to purchase a tombstone for my husband, finally. It has been a longer period of time than I imagined it would be, but it is happening today. Luckily for me, Faye decided to come with me. It is the end of a journey that is , I think , taking place at the right time and in the right way for me. I am going to deal with it with forethought for my children, who deserve a decision made in the right way. But, ultimately, for me personally, the title says it all . It is for me the end of the beginning and also the beginning of the end.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "The end of the beginning" presents a narrative of personal growth and transformation. It effectively uses repetition and structure to emphasize the journey from the past to the present.
However, there are areas where the poem could be improved. The narrative could be more engaging if the poem provided more specific details about the experiences and events that led to the speaker's transformation. The characters Shaya, Sarah, and Faye are mentioned, but their roles in the speaker's life are not clear. Providing more context about these characters could add depth to the poem.
The poem also tends to tell rather than show the speaker's emotions and experiences. For example, the line "I feel the power and the strength/Of what we are doing" could be more impactful if it showed specific actions or events that demonstrate this feeling of power and strength.
The poem could also benefit from more varied and creative use of language. Many of the lines are straightforward and literal, which can make the poem feel flat. Using more figurative language, such as metaphors and similes, could make the poem more engaging and emotionally resonant.
Lastly, the poem's structure could be more consistent. Some stanzas have a clear rhythmic structure, while others do not. Consistency in structure can help to create a more cohesive and rhythmic reading experience.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact