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Jun 16, 2025
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The End of It
I asked him if he still loved her.
She had lied to him many times,
but he said he was through now.
His look was one of anger
so, I knew to move on.
His heart, rendered severe,
informed the advice I offered.
Having been there myself,
I could only say it will pass,
and would he like a beer.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
3 months 2 weeks ago
Thinking about...
the line: "Informed the advice that I offered", it is not clear what the intent of that line is. Are you sure that the word you want to use is [informed]? Yeah, the scenario is truth for sure, "I've been there".
~ Geez.
.
Michael Anthony
3 months 2 weeks ago
Thanks Geez! The line you…
Thanks Geez! The line you referenced is only a part of the total sentence. If read as a whole it seems to be clear, at least to me - "His heart, rendered severe,
informed the advice I offered." I guess I was trying to convey that I could have offered alternative advice - maybe what could be done to repair the relationship, etc. Food for thought though, for me. Always appreciate you sharing your thoughts!
Best
Lavender
3 months 2 weeks ago
The End of It
Hello, Michael,
Been on both sides of this scenario - the beer's the wise choice. :)
Thank you!
L
Michael Anthony
3 months 2 weeks ago
Agreed L! Thank you…
Agreed L! Thank you.