Race_9togo

Mar 22, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Ending Well

Old age is something that I scorn;
the ache of limbs and frailty
is definitely not for me,
I will not spend my time forlorn,
remembering regretfully.

I will fight advancing age,
make war upon decrepitude,
enjoying every interlude
of life up to the final stage
of my own stubborn attitude.

No dread will haunt my final years,
I scorn the terror death does hold
upon those who are grey and old,
whose dignity fades and hope dissapears
in the face of growing doubts and fears,

and finally, on my last day,
when life departs me at long last
I hope death takes me quick and fast,
so those I love can proudly say:
"He burned, and did not fade away."

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Comments

Roscoe Lane

14 years 3 months ago

I love,

I love the last line, great poem can't see anything wrong with it. Regards Roscoe...

Race_9togo

14 years 3 months ago

Thanks Roscoe,

Glad you liked this one so much.

Race_9togo

14 years 3 months ago

lol@grappa

I don't drink anymore Shirl; doctor's orders!
But grappa sure sounds good, heehee.
Thanks for reading.

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Jim

very good over all and exceptional last stanza. Of course that never stops me from giving alternatives lol :
L-3 try certainly instead of definitely
L-15 try recalling the past regretfully
L-9 change life to joy
L-12 change does to may
L-14 swap places with hope and dignity
L-16 change on to come
As always, throw out all or any as you please.................scribbler

Race_9togo

14 years 3 months ago

Stan

Thanks for reading, and your kind words.
I think about your alternatives.

Melissa Gayle

14 years 3 months ago

I seem to have the hardest

I seem to have the hardest time with the titles, for me I understand your title but in the same respect it doesn't punch at me enough - especially when I read this poem and feel every word you say. This reads beautifully aloud, it speaks brilliantly.

Race_9togo

14 years 3 months ago

Thanks Melissa,

Titles are the absolutely hardest part of a poem, to me! You are not the first to question the title of one of my poems, and given how bad I am at it, you won't be the last either!
I will give it thought, and come up with an alternative, but you must tell me if its better!
Thanks very much, I'm glad that you like this one.

CCfire

14 years 3 months ago

You know what they say...

"Youre only as old as the woman you feel..or man depending on which way you swing lol...keep that inner child forever I say :)

Race_9togo

14 years 3 months ago

LOL

while I must respectfully disagree with you on the feel thing...heehee...older women seriously rock...I cannot fault you on keeping that inner child.

;)

Race_9togo

14 years 3 months ago

LOL Hi Jayne

Nope, I didn't re-submit, I don't know what happened!
Yeah, that last line was what I wanted, and started with. I seem to start with endings quite a bit, when I write. "It's better to burn out than fade away" is a quote from somebody famous, but I don't remember who, and I'm too blasted tired to find out!
Glad you like this one, Oz lady.

Race_9togo

14 years 3 months ago

Neil Young!

That's the one! LOL.