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Apr 17, 2013
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ENSCONSED
Satin hand in velvet glove
Belly to buttocks, bodies enfurled.
Touching lugano- like softest fuzz
Bodies infused,
By this sublime love.
She repeats each word, before it's said.
Internalized and well rehearsed
Silently whispering:
"I know you better,
than what's in my head".
Exalted in the nakedness of Being
abandoned in moments
Not wanton, but wanting
no more than this
Spent feeling.
The merger of minds
The sharing of seeing
The ultimate way to give to Life
More Joy,
More meaning.
17 April,13
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Seren
12 years 2 months ago
Boni
You have ticked all the boxes in my opinion the only thing I could say was I am not fond of the title it just doesnt fit(excuse the pun)
give me a nights sleep and if you like I could make a few suggestions for the title
a really good write I thoroughly enjoyed the read
love JC x
Bonitaj
12 years 2 months ago
Thanks JC!
Hadn't really thought much of it, but made an attempt to tie in with the theme... See if you can come up with something else/better perhaps....
Cheers
Boni