Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feb 25, 2020
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Entropic Hate
All is done because every day
you survived
to see the darkness in your eyes.
The mirror is closing in,
the mirror is fierce:
Nothing to hide within
but a world of suffering.
And there’s no point in reducing
the fury of yesterday’s hate
to a handful of tears
banished in the wind.
Just step closer to the edge and you will feel
the wrath of your ancestors
building up through your veins.
Your hate is in vain
in the same vein as death
and everything else
that comes against the grain.
The mirror is closing in,
the mirror is fierce:
Nothing to hide within
but a world of suffering.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Sparrow 42
5 years 4 months ago
Unlight
Not sure if you wanted to rhyme all the way through,
The piece was intense and had much meaning.
A balance of rhyme would have been the difference here ,
Yours Ian T
Unlight
5 years 4 months ago
Hey Sparrow 42,
Truth be told, I had no intention to rhyme at all,
it just so happened that I "wrapped up" the ideas I had when I wrote the poem
into some rhyming words. I wouldn't change them though.
Thank you for the feedback!
Cheers,
Ionut Popa