judyanne

Jun 10, 2016 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

ephemeral

once
grew a glimmer of hope
in the eye of Time

a tenuous promise
in the tears of Duration

but in its fragility
it crumbled and dissolved

and fell

leaving a stain of sorrow
on one of Forever's footprints
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

jane210660

9 years 1 month ago

Ephemeral

Ohhh, that's a good word, haven't seen it around much.
A sad and haunting poem, which keeps offering more with each reading.
Thank you for sharing. Jxx

judyanne

9 years ago

hi Jane

Thank you so very much for the very supportive comment
love judy
xxx

raj

9 years 1 month ago

Hi Judyanne

I couldn't have expressed my opinion any better than Jane has done...that's exactly the experience after reading this crisp poem...

Free verse from the queen of meter and and strict form poetry is an amazing revelation...may be i haven't read much of your free form poems...

much love..

judyanne

9 years ago

lol raj

Thank you for the lovely comments - but 'queen' seems a little too high I think lol
actually, I've written a lot of free-form....
it's funny, as I seem to go in cycles - verse, free-form, verse, free-form....
thanks again raj
love judy
xxx

weirdelf

9 years 1 month ago

The second poem I've read tonight that used caps effectively.

This could be translated from the Japanese, apart from the lack of references to nature.
Gorgeous and genuinely profound.
Sorry, no crit.
Is Mutability a dirty word?

judyanne

9 years ago

thank you Jess

Lol - there's no such thing as a 'dirty word'...
love judy
xxx

Geezer

9 years 1 month ago

This certainly has...

a haunting quality about it! I enjoyed it much! Thanks, ~ Gee

judyanne

9 years ago

hi Gee

Thank you so much for the visit and very kind comment
love judy
xxx

brittle light

9 years 1 month ago

the idea, concept, and follow

the idea, concept, and follow through, with clarity, and precision, along with choice descriptive words, all contribute to this; an outstandingly crafted precious piece of poetic treasure....that means I like it!

you did good..

judyanne

9 years ago

hi Al

Thank you so very much for your awesomely supportive comment....
I'm really glad you think I did good
love judy
xxx

Esker

9 years 1 month ago

yes

a short bittersweet work
If only I could cry
I have driven the rains
back
so I get to appreciate
the emotive feelings
in this expressed
and the use of
caps

excellent!

thank U Judyanne!

judyanne

9 years ago

thank you Steve

for your very supportive comment
love judy
xxx