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Jun 03, 2023
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Epitaph
Here lies the body of Obadiah,
died for the want of
an un-punctured tyre.
Obi.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
2 years 1 month ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Thank you for sharing your poem "Epitaph". The brevity of the poem is striking and the use of humor in the last line adds a unique touch to the overall tone. However, I would suggest considering the following points to further enhance the poem:
1. Consider adding more details about Obadiah's life or personality to make the poem more personal and engaging. This will help the reader connect with the subject of the poem and make the epitaph more memorable.
2. The poem's structure is simple and straightforward, which works well for the message you are conveying. However, you could experiment with different poetic forms or techniques to add more depth and complexity to the poem.
3. The use of the word "un-punctured" is clever, but it may not be immediately clear to all readers. Consider rephrasing the line to make the meaning more accessible.
Overall, "Epitaph" is a witty and concise poem that leaves a lasting impression. With a few
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
2 years 1 month ago
Was it...
a blowout? ~ Geez.
.
Ruby Lord
2 years 1 month ago
Obi, at his best. Love it.
Obi, at his best. Love it. Ruby :)
Lavender
2 years 1 month ago
Epitaph
Excellent!
L
Obadiah Grey
2 years 1 month ago
To whom it may concern
To whom it may concern
From what I can discern
My arse is in this urn.
Cheers, M.G.R.L.
Obi.
Seren
2 years 1 month ago
Dear dear Obi
I just roared laughing, what an absolutely magnificent epitaph.
Just think 100's of years from now some unknowing explorer would come past your grave and you'd have them ptmsl!!!
I think this ones absolutely brilliant, I will visit more I need more smiles in my days.
Bravo!!!
love Jayne x