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Nov 10, 2011
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An Equinox Prayer
At the balance, a fulcrum
at the crisis, a stasis
as days and nights come equal
may you find power in stillness
and reflect as we move into
the season of night
on dreams and rest and healing
may you have them in abundance
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Only about two and a half months late, but autumn equinox happens every year
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Race_9togo
13 years 8 months ago
LOL
and here and away, I thought you were an atheist.
;)
I love this - it carries an evocation of spirit that I can feel as I read.
No critique, except for perhaps a review of little words, possibly un-needed.
weirdelf
13 years 8 months ago
Ta Jim,
does this edit reflect what you meant about little words?
Yes, I'm an atheist. I use shamanism as a psychological construct to deal with matters as yet un-explained by science.
Race_9togo
13 years 8 months ago
Yes,
it is much smoother and tighter, and more active too, as a ritual prayer should be.
I explored shamanism in my younger times, and still find certain of its processes and techniques very useful in changing states of conciousness, particularly the use of music, drumming and chants, although I find the forces generated a little slow in building.
weirdelf
13 years 8 months ago
cool
my poem 'Watermana' is a transliteration of a Shamanic trance
http://new.neopoet.com/node/2465
Race_9togo
13 years 8 months ago
If you'll recall,
I asked you if I could make a copy of Watermana, some time ago, and I still read it, in some of my favorite water-strong places, when I do not want the modernity of computer systems interfering with my spiritual experience of the place. For anyone interested, I highly recommend it.
Candlewitch
13 years 8 months ago
Dear Jess,
I too observe the equinoxs and the solstices. A fine poem which I appreceate.
always, Cat (and brightest of blessings to you, an athiest)
weirdelf
13 years 8 months ago
ta cat,
it's not religion, barely spirituality, pure pragmatism. We need to connect to our planet and its cycles.
wesley snow
13 years 7 months ago
Nosing around in your older posts.
This should go into a deluxe Hallmark. You know I'm not crazy about free verse, but this is so subtly phrased as to be more than attractive to me. Sorry this is only a comment and not a biting critique, but I couldn't find anything wrong with it. Woe is me. wesley
weirdelf
13 years 7 months ago
merely that you looked back
on some of my 'old stuff' is a compliment.
Thank you.
Critique... ?
when you can
weirdelf
13 years 7 months ago
Aw mate, you can't whinge when people don't read the afterword
I said "Only about two and a half months late, but autumn equinox happens every year"
infinite_dwarf
13 years 6 months ago
Jess
I, too, was surprised to see 'prayer' in the title - and braced myself for something offensive and off-colour. Instead, I read a quiet brilliance that warmed my soul. Epitome of conciseness, and I especially liked the usage of 'fulcrum' in there. The natural balancing of the scales. I hope you have found the 'balance' in your life as well, friend.
weirdelf
13 years 6 months ago
"some people never go mad,
they must lead truly horrible lives"- Bukowski.
Don't know if you would call it balance, but I managed to keep my xmas inventive to a minimum this year. Didn't even hire out all the Alien movies to celebrate.
Ta Jess