Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Oct 27, 2017
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Escape
Iridescent light,
The full moon's call,
Attracting my weakness,
Overpowering the fight.
Beckoning from my window,
Pulling at my bones,
Asking me to join
To leave this nothingness behind,
To the ledge I run,
Unable to resist,
Breaking through the glass,
So much not to miss.
On blackened wings I fly,
Utterly alone
To where broken spirits die
Free of eternal strife
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
8 years ago
Such desolate...
and lonely thoughts! Felt the pain and the helplessness. Not sure that sub-consciously is the right word there. A bit cliché perhaps, but maybe [utterly] alone? ~ Gee.
.
lonlyhrtsclub13
8 years ago
Thank you Gee
I was a little uncertain about subconsciously as well, figured a fresh set of eyes may be able to help. I will change it to utterly and see what it does.
Eumolpus
8 years ago
you don't want to go there
"This nothingness" will pass. I sense so much the suffering you are going through in this poem, and you are calling out. Create a new universe with your poetry, you have the skills. You will find others, like me, to share it with.
lonlyhrtsclub13
8 years ago
Thank you
Writing serves as a catharsis for me...over my years on and off of Neo I have learned to tone it Down a little and work on form and flow. Still working at it. I went thru today and redid my profile a bit, unpublished some pretty rough writings. I will be on more now.
Marvel Godwyn
8 years ago
A beautiful poem depicting
A beautiful poem depicting emotions lurking in the core. Thanks for sharing lonlyrtsclub13.
Numero Negativ…
8 years ago
Wonderful Work
Went to church yesterday and end up in a mental institute today...the Lord is as amazing as 0
You may see Zero yet I see a hero and the meaning of life is to live to the fullest
Only need one Drag off the cig...don't push it...No Genra this shit chere is just music
Sorry bout that great job
lonlyhrtsclub13
8 years ago
Thank you
I am glad you liked it. I've learned a lot from my time on Neo. It is nice to be able to apply it and see good results.