Et tu, Brute?

You make me wonder who is this JC and what the person did to piss you off..Hmmm. A good write filled with emotion.

Alid

Poor Julius lies dying and all he can say is Et Tu, lol
This piece is sweet as blood spilling over marble steps.
He shouldn't have upset so many, but if you look at history it happened quite a lot..
Good write but old and could have been more exciting, whoops!!
Take care Yours Ian..

First stanza, 3rd line. Is 'word' supposed to be 'world'?

Alid

In Macbeth I liked Duncan!....ambition.....ambition lived through others is poor...
brutus did this with jc...all that fell through in no time...the reign was done...the end
was not long after....protocol had come unwound...simliar to mcbeth
the crowns rule on the more superstitious northern tribes began to unravel

marble was a great material to work with...looked great....hard too get too but
not impossible...

many run others ahead of themselves because they just cant get out front
political title....protocol......if you are female....males have the balls..the old boy
network..it does exist....it is real...but females can rule....
met a few!

a good working of the poetry here
I like that you are venturing with much
not just hammering out the
regular fodder
but creating a lot of different
venue with your work
and much talent

Makes this old mans smile greatly!
and remembers his scratchy old high school
shakespeare!!!records!!

thank U

Your profile says you are a sophomore... what are you now? There is maturity in the poetry.

Hmm.
I don't think you can use only and 19 in the same phrase.

I had my Equity card and was performing on the live stage. I suspect you're doing something extraordinary also beyond the poetry. Nineteen is a very cool time. Use it.

since it's in the first person
"et te, Brute"
A bold conception, well executed (may I be severely pun-ished for that remark)

and motion.
I want to express 2 thoughts- The first is JC, whom everyone will immediately think is Jesus, so rather than create a distraction just say, Julius, or Ceasar. The other is a suggestion by Pound, who once said the further a poem goes from music the less effective it is. As a reader, I follow the poem as I would a reading music. So I pause, in free verse, at the end of the line. If not, why has the poet chosen to end the line where he/she did?
So if you do that, the lines don't work. Here's my take...

I’m getting real sick of your shit, Julius.

I know I’m supposed to be loyal, but

You can’t expect to rule the world.

Some people are going to resist you and your laws.

I guess I’m one of those people.

You want too much power for yourself.

It’s a slippery slope. Like blood on marble.

Slick. Then I saw what I must do.

Now I see what I have done

And I can see myself in the sticky reflections,

Swimming in death. I see me ask myself

“Et tu, Brute?”

Here the poem takes a certain form, it's physically tighter, which is a factor. And reading line by line,
the pauses fit the narrative. WDYT?