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Nov 25, 2024
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Ethereal sight
Such a resplendent, luminous thing
A smile
It's mere gleam
lifts my soul
Fills it with immeasurable, euphoric light,
As if every star
poured its gleam into my chest
I feel limp, featherlike
So ecstatic it almost aches,
A felicity so esoteric
it blurs the margins of reality,
Leaving me breathless, alive,
In a world that abruptly feels infinite
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
7 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Ethereal sight" beautifully captures the transformative power of a smile, using vivid imagery and emotive language to convey a sense of euphoria and transcendence. The comparison of a smile to a resplendent, luminous thing that fills the soul with immeasurable light is striking and evocative. The imagery of stars pouring their gleam into the speaker's chest creates a sense of cosmic wonder and deep emotional connection.
The poem effectively conveys the overwhelming joy and elation experienced in the presence of this smile, with phrases like "ecstatic it almost aches" and "felicity so esoteric it blurs the margins of reality" capturing the intensity of the emotions felt. The description of feeling breathless, alive, and in a world that suddenly feels infinite adds to the sense of awe and wonderment.
One suggestion for further development could be to explore the impact of this transformative experience in more depth. How does it change the speaker's perspective or understanding of
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
7 months ago
Hello Mini,
I like your title. The poem flows well from beginning to end. (Free Verse is my favorite style) I like the message you are putting out into the multi verse! (do not be surprised if AI tells you that you need meter or rhyme.) free verse does not require either. You used simple word/language choices, and that works well for your poem as your meaning is clear. The pacing is good, yes, good flow through. My favorite lines are:
A felicity so esoteric
it blurs the margins of reality,
Leaving me breathless, alive,
In a world that abruptly feels infinite
wishing you a great day, Cat
Geezer
7 months ago
To echo...
the Cat, I like the title, it manages to present a blurred edge, shiny with promise. A ting in the wilderness of chaos and rot.
I can see where one might see a smile as a beacon of light, a thing to wonder over and perhaps generate another in a birth-like state. "Such a resplendent, luminous thing, a smile." ~ Geezer.
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