RoseBlack

Dec 31, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week January 1st 2023 to January 7th 2023

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Evanesce

Alone
Stale air against leaves
Shuffling against their grassy tombs
I have arrived

The only place
That feels like home
Between the stones
I collapse

To recede from view
Dissipate into the unconscious
And find anew
I feel my soul escaping

This pain is too much
Broken by rejection
Empty promises
Cruel transgressions

Searching for the light
But there is only darkness
No familiar faces
On the other side

Leave me here
In this place
For it is all I knew
Of comfort and peace

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, Jim Morrison

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Candlewitch

2 years 5 months ago

dear Carrie,

my favorite lines are:

To recede from view
Dissipate into the unconscious
And find anew
I feel my soul escaping

it feels so familiar and so right
*hugs, Cat

RoseBlack

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you Cat

I did some serious reflection in the cemetery this weekend. This was my take away...

Geezer

2 years 5 months ago

are places to be alone, even though there are hundreds, maybe thousands of people there. A place where life goes on, but just not there. Not many people go there to think about life. A sad piece but showing the reflection of your determination. I have confidence in you. ~ Geez.
.

RoseBlack

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you

It is an odd place to go but I'm comfortable there. There is a peace where I go that allows me an outlet, a safe place so to speak. The residents are non judgemental and excellent listeners besides.

Lavender

2 years 5 months ago

Evanesce

Hello, Carrie,
An eloquent and fitting title. I, too, find comfort while walking in cemeteries. There is a genuine soulfulness there. You have captured that.
L

RoseBlack

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you

It truly is my safe place. I have a particular section I visit and stay in when I need to take space and it has never disappointed

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

I have one. A cemetery.

In the forest that I haunt there is a barely recognizable foot trail off one of the less traveled marked trails that leads to a historical cemetery. The stones are badly worn and they aren’t cut very neatly; more like hewn with hammer and wedges. The light comes through a thick glade of tall white pine and defies so many laws of physics, the air is both still and bristling with energy; old energy. Birds are quieter is this place as if they are observing reverently. It’s a place I’ve visited often and somehow the quiet seems to quiet my mind. All of this comes flooding like a dream when I read your poem as I have felt a deep sense of self and connection within the bounds of many a cemetery. Especially those old wooded ones here in New England.

Superb work,
Tim

RoseBlack

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you, Tim

There is a mausoleum in this particular cemetery that resembles a small castle. I fell in love with it many years ago while doing a thorough exploration/ghost hunt of the cemetery. It became a safe place for me as well as I discovered over the last couple years that my biological father and members of his family are buried just adjacent to that castle. I tend to spend some time there now as well. It is truly the only place that feels like home right now.

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

That sounds beautiful.

Sympathies for the loss of your biological father (I’m assuming there is some estrangement). It does sound like he has been laid to rest in a calming place next to beautiful stonework. May this place continue to be safe and provide you with self reflection. I like when your writing is on the personal side. It’s not that it’s better writing compared to say, a fictional scenario, it just hits the right way with me; it’s what I enjoy reading. We write what comes of course.

RoseBlack

2 years 5 months ago

Much of my writing is personal

Even though it usually favors the macabre...I have a difficult time with love and light,. especially these days but am glad you enjoyed

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

Yeah

I suppose that comment mighta missed a bit but I think you understand what I was trying to say. I can deal with your darkness. We all have some, it’s my experience it’s not great to harbor it so by all means hit us with whatever ya got. In the past I’ve found your stuff to be a tad murderous but never second rate.

With admiration,
Tim

RoseBlack

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you

For your praise. Some days getting out of my own head is a real task and writing is a big outlet for me. I am glad to be a part of the neo family.

Seren

2 years 5 months ago

Dear RoseBlack

The darker the darkness the brighter the light, I think this is absolutely brilliant work. I don't find anything morose about walking around cemeteries I think they are a part of our history and who has come before us.

There is a haunting beauty in this poem I love it, I look forward to catching up with some more of your work.

Your language use is good, and the pacing is as it should be.

I came tonight with every intent on being savage with my critique Ha!, but I am finding little to critique in what I've read so far, Well Done!

Sincerely Jayne-Chloe

RoseBlack

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you Jayne

For such high praise. I am sure there are plenty others on my page that could use some savage critique. I find my comfort zone is within the cemetery gates, a particular spot in general. Glad you enjoyed.