scribbler

Jan 01, 2021 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

EVE OF OPENING DAY

Eyes closed I'm on the edge of sleep
as cold rain beats a tinny sound
here within my cabin's keep
naught but darkness all around.

This cold rain brings the autumn's end
and hints at winter yet to come
whose start is just around the bend
with nose and fingers both grown numb.

Forecasters say this rain will stop
before the black of night turns day.
Then I'll be sitting on a hill top
awaiting elusive prey.

Supposedly for a buck deer,
indeed I'll have my old deer gun
just in case a big buck should come near
whose antlers reflect the morning sun.

But this night no trophy fills my mind
just memories of shared hunts with friends
all of whom left me behind
as they reached their own hunts' ends.

So I'll sit there in the dawn
while ghosts of the past fill the air.
My real prey already gone.
One day I'll join it over there.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

scribbler

4 years 6 months ago

Deep thought........

Well, maybe an inch deep lol. Thanks for the visit and may 2021 be better than 2020

Ray Whitaker

4 years 6 months ago

Deerstand reflections

Always so much time to do that up in the stand. Nice to see this, i always enjoy the poems about Hunting or wildlife experiences.

scribbler

4 years 6 months ago

Hi Ray

Yes. When younger the hunt was the main thing. But with age comes the realization that time to think in solitude often is a stronger motivation.

Gracy

4 years 6 months ago

Great poem with striking, reflective imagery, as well as a narrative form. Your rhyming is perfect and so is the spacing. I have to say that I hate the idea of hunting, I'd never join in.
I like the memories, some sad, some a little less so. I certainly live on with many memories, the best are of my childhood on the farm and then going to uni.
Enjoyed a lot. Happy New Year, with love, peace and happiness, Gracy

scribbler

4 years 6 months ago

Hi Grace

Yeah a lot of people don't hunt and that's OK by me. Just as long as they don't think they have some right to keep others from doing so.Hope hope you have a great coming year.

Geezer

4 years 6 months ago

Just wondering if...

your real prey is the youthfulness that has somehow escaped from your sights? At least that is the perception I have. Of course sometimes we have to stretch a tiny bit to make the rhyme. I do think that "I got it." As always, you brought me with you to that place in the woods where we encounter our younger selves, accompanied by our long-gone hunting partners. ~ Gee.
.

scribbler

4 years 6 months ago

Hi Geez

I must really be getting old. For the first time in many years I sat at home and watched a hard rain instead of bidding deer season farewell from a private stand. As always thanks for dropping by

Asche Keegan

4 years 6 months ago

Dear Scribbler,

I love this poem so much, especially your last stanza! As others have said, the idea of youthfulness escaping was portrayed in a fantastic manner, articulately and enthralling. Amazing job.

scribbler

4 years 6 months ago

Greetings

Welcome to neopoet. Appreciate your kind words