An evening in San Diego!

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "An evening in San Diego!" presents a narrative of an eventful party night, using a casual and humorous tone. The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout the poem, which helps to maintain a rhythmic flow.

However, the poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. For instance, instead of saying "The music was groovy", it could describe the type of music, the instruments, or the emotions it evoked. Similarly, the phrase "girls all around me" could be more descriptive, perhaps mentioning their laughter, their dancing, or their attire.

The poem also contains a few typographical errors that disrupt the flow. In the third stanza, "I’d been been burned by the chicks, all thier fun was on me!" should be corrected to "I'd been burned by the chicks, all their fun was on me!"

The narrative could also benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the speaker's emotions. While the poem does convey a sense of humor and nonchalance, it might be interesting to delve deeper into the speaker's feelings about the events, whether it's confusion, embarrassment, or determination.

Lastly, the poem could consider varying its sentence structure to create more dynamic rhythm and pacing. For instance, shorter sentences could be used to convey quick actions or sudden realizations, while longer sentences could be used to describe more contemplative moments or complex emotions.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

In this line, remove one of the (been)'s from it:

I’d been been burned by the chicks, all thier fun was on me! (their is the proper spelling)

My favorite lines are:

Not that it mattered, I returned the next week,
but this time they couldn’t get the better of me.
We frolicked and played, til the first light of dawn
I couldn’t get home and passed out on their lawn!

I love that ending!
*major hugs, Cat

rhyme scheme, but I too, loved the story! Like Cat, I loved the last stanza. Well done sir, well done. ~ Geez.
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Funny indeed.
I wonder if you're writing this for the contest "waking up naked"
If so, you need to choose the contest title from the contest drop window.
Best wishes.