Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Nov 28, 2021
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Exes, again
Your terrifying childhood,
with young decisions gone awry,
shelter was not always a home
With insecurity to spare,
the best you could do
I struggled to forgive
Sometimes we could see each other,
but mostly we could not
In between the absent days,
when you were here
but in some other place,
love may have been there
but I had to guess most of the time
and I was terrible at it
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Practiced my guessing skills for a loooong time, until I no longer needed to - thank you serendipity!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
3 years 7 months ago
This, hits home...
I know how you feel. It's not easy to tip-toe around another person's emotions and in trying not to expose the raw nerves,
we may inadvertently get it wrong by guessing. A somber piece, giving hints of self-flagellation, for not fully understanding
a partner's moods. I think the title is fine. The pacing rolls on smoothly and a familiar theme that flows smoothly from beginning to end. ~ Geezer.
.
Ray Whitaker
3 years 7 months ago
Strong.
No doubt, this piece of yours addresses that "ex' thing well. Love the last line. the poem works well as far as I'm concerned. it took me to a place where I leave that box closed.
Sen99
3 years 7 months ago
Thanks for sharing
Good title, brevity is best, this is relatable to me, experience with an ex