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Of Eyes And Lies
They say your eyes tell a story
About the things that we say and do,
And when you look at your image
You would know in your heart if these things are true.
Some of us see lies reflected,
Some of us know it's all fake,
But what if i get rejected?
Some go along just for this sake.
I see it now in the mirror of this society
This truth of which i have just spoke,
With pride in their eyes, and belief in their lies,
Some of them embrace this joke.
Que
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 10 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Lavender
1 year 10 months ago
Eyes And Lies
Hello,
I like the mirror referring to both society, and our individual image. The last two lines are very strong.
Thank you!
Lavender
Que
1 year 10 months ago
Thank you very much for your
Thank you very much for your feedback.
Ruby Lord
1 year 10 months ago
This line: "You would know in
This line: "You would know in your heart if these things are true." stands out because of its length on the page. Perhaps rephrase it to: "You would know in your heart if this is true." Apart from that one line it flowed well, and was a good read.
Ruby :)
Que
1 year 10 months ago
Thank you very much for your
Thank you very much for your feedback.