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Jan 09, 2013
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f a t h o m i n g
a thin bell
speaks
against
a chime
cultural crimes
in modern
times
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Jenifer James
12 years 6 months ago
Quiet round here tonight, isn
Quiet round here tonight, isn't it - night off in the poet's forum, maybe! I like brevity, each word sitting in it's place in a poem - I noticed it is a rough draft, where do want to take this poem? The title is intriguing, words around some deeper inner space, possibbly?
Frenchf
12 years 6 months ago
Are we all back at work?
I am. n steeped in my reality all my creativity has hit rock bottom!
To even mount a 2 line rhyme is impossible as I am faced by awfulness
Bring back holiday time
Esker needs much more my sweet.
Esker
12 years 6 months ago
life as poetry
meaning in the mundane
the brilliant shows
the bottom realms
work in progress
drafty roughs
yes
holiday
always in need...............
Thank You both
Seren
12 years 6 months ago
I liked it
it has a profound quality that I often find with your work, as always a pleasure Steven
nice work keep em coming
love jc xxx
Esker
12 years 6 months ago
chimes are modern JC
the car doors open warning lights on keys in ignition
and on old aircraft system
then the non intrusive chime
since and now a Female voice
"warning warning..low altitude..low altitude"
the bells are like
Well Bells
Forget cells
in sheep herder countries they make them still
thin lightweight bells for sheep
and on old steamer trains a brass hell rung by the
engineer who gave a shit and pulled a cord
I like our modern world
I was born and concieved after Kennedy was shot
in Dallas...
I lived long enough to see the destruction of Saddams
palace
arent we all on a motorcade
moving through labyrnths of
statues of a fACE we made...\\
Frenchf
12 years 6 months ago
Liked the reply even better
Than the poem or as much as!