FALL HARBINGER

Today the weather suits my mood
as doubts assail and old knees ache
and each direction I have viewed
drips, it seems, for the past's sake

The sky of unremitting gray
which sadly cries for today's youth
the wind which barely makes limbs sway
somehow they seem to be aloof

And colored wet leaves on the trees
are all aware that they'll soon fall
destined to fade and thus appease
the yearning of the winter's call

A dreary crow flies through the rain
in silence suffering the day
while tin roof patters a refrain
trying to drum the rain away

So I stay inside with doleful mind
wishing that the day was done
hoping if the night is kind
tomorrow's morn will bring the sun

About This Poem

Last Few Words: And I STILL can't write a quatrain of dactyl or anapest....................stan

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

eightmenout

11 years 9 months ago

Stan

Great topic. Well written as always. I just feel like several of the rhymes are forced and the piece would flow easier if they were a more direct match. That's just me, don't let me step on your creative toes.

Scott

scribbler

11 years 9 months ago

Hi Scott

Don't worry about my toes, they've already been ground to nubs lol. This is a rough draft and I'll keep your and all others' ideas in mind as I edit this in the future. Appreciate your time to visit..............stan

Ian.T

11 years 9 months ago

Stan

Just another start in the year, it is a nice sentiment to have all these starts no matter how the rest of the journey is.
Shall we hope that the legs hold out till the end of Spring lol.
Me well I have my doubts, glad I have reserves of walking sticks etc: to see me mobile should I need.
Your picture as usual was excellent and probably will start the flow of the poems for the new season..
Take care out there, Yours Ian.T

scribbler

11 years 9 months ago

Hi Ian

I have already fashioned a walking staff from a cedar tree to give me a third leg as I traverse the woods lol. Thank you for taking time to read this scribble...............stan