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Apr 04, 2011
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FALSE PROPHET
There he sits alone and still
they think he talks to God
when his eyes are glazed and far away
he has them all fooled
again
He communes but not with God
his master is the fallen angel
who misleads all with lies
including this acolyte
Who now rises with a plan
time to sacrifice another man
or a woman, even child
matters not to him
the bomber
Whatever it takes to dole out
another dose of death and chaos
yet another case of hope's loss
sowed without discrimination
one blood as red as another
His inner self smiles with malice
for they call him
Mullah
another attempt at free verse
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
CCfire
14 years 3 months ago
Perhaps given the subject it
Perhaps given the subject it is a little too tell rather than 'show' and could use some strong images and metaphors because the gruesome reality is no one gets to even bury a bone in these circumstances, I just felt some more raw images might give it more punch?
scribbler
14 years 3 months ago
hello
I don't know why I'm surprised to see you are of the fairer sex lol. I know this one needs work and will let it gather more ideas a day or so before editing. Thank you for the time to read and comment..........scribbler