eightmenout

Mar 11, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Fate

Three hands turning in a circle
as day lifts her skirt to the night
one slower than the other
slower than the other

I want them to stop
take the darkness as my mistress
for tomorrow only brings
another day like today
and this day was unkind

But alas
the light shall come
like a bitch in heat
panting and pawing
scratching and clawing
til there is nothing left of me
but three hands
moving in a circle

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Henry Rollins, Langston Hughes, Emily Dickinson

Comments

eliminist

10 years 4 months ago

Brilliantly composed - cheers

Brilliantly composed - cheers....hope the coming days aren't unkind to u...

eightmenout

10 years 4 months ago

Thank you

for stopping by and leaving the compliment. Appreciate it.

scribbler

10 years 4 months ago

hello

I'm gonna return. I know there's an unstated message here but I'm too tired to find it tonight lol.....stan

eightmenout

10 years 4 months ago

Stan

Look forward to your return.

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

a really good write

the descriptive is so clever - three hands going around and around... I love it
and day lifting her skirt ---

and the description of her coming like a bitch on heat -- one really gets the emotion of hatred for the day, for the life the narrator is living, and the ending so depicts that helplessness, and boredom

well done - one of the best reads I've had for a while (and I've been having some pretty good reads lately)

love judy
xxx

eightmenout

10 years 4 months ago

Judy

Thank you for stopping by and for the compliment. It means a lot.

raj

10 years 4 months ago

Hi Scott

Admire your vision and creativity in every verse of this poem of unique dimensions...I loved besides everything else "three hands moving in a circle" made me wow!you have discovered a novel poetic form....it was such a pleasure to read this after my struggles with Sonnets and meters...

Regards,

eightmenout

10 years 4 months ago

Raj

Thanks for stopping by and having a read. Glad you enjoyed it