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A Father’s Daughter
You can’t do this and you shouldn’t do that.
And who was she in that big red hat?
Don’t wander far when off you go.
And stay off the “I” you drive to slow.
Did you take all your pills today?
At least your clothes match anyway.
How come you’ve got new after shave.
Kind of strong, now you behave!
But buried in those nagging words,
a daughter's love is always heard.
So such is life there is no other when
father's daughter becomes his mother.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
alidzain
11 years 2 months ago
Hi
This is a very good description of a caretaker. Well done.
Alid
emeka ozurumba
11 years 2 months ago
great poetry with reticient
it reminds me of Wordsworth "the child is the father of the man"