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Father I praise you holy name

Father I praise you
Holy name
You are worth to be
Praise
Also I hope you keep me
Alive every day
Because I hope to be
Alive every day
I just want to be
A part
Of you life
Every morning I
Wake up with the Winter blues
Can you please Father
Remove the Winter blues
From my life
Also Father don't think
I am a liar
Because that is not me Father
I hope you know me by now
I am always telling you
The truth

About This Poem

Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by Aldo Kraas

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, Patrick Friesen, Michael ondatje

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neopoet

3 months 3 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem engages in direct address to a divine figure, employing repetition and a conversational tone to convey sincerity and vulnerability. The structure is free verse, with short lines that create a sense of urgency and intimacy. The speaker’s concerns—praise, hope for continued life, desire for connection, and honesty—are clearly articulated.

The poem’s diction is simple and direct, which suits the confessional mode, but the phrasing at times becomes redundant (“I hope to be / Alive every day” is immediately preceded by “keep me / Alive every day”). The repetition could be more intentional to reinforce a theme or emotional state, rather than appearing as unvaried restatement.

The lineation is inconsistent; some line breaks add emphasis (“Wake up with the Winter blues”), while others disrupt the flow without clear purpose (“A part / Of you life”). Consider how enjambment and stanza breaks might be used to heighten emotional impact or clarify meaning.

Imagery is minimal, with “Winter blues” as the central metaphor. This could be developed further to create a stronger sensory or emotional resonance. The poem’s tone is earnest, but the lack of figurative language or specific detail limits its emotional depth.

The poem’s conclusion reiterates the speaker’s honesty, but the transition from the request for relief from the “Winter blues” to the concern about being perceived as a liar is abrupt. Further development of the connection between these ideas could provide greater cohesion and complexity.

Overall, the poem’s directness and repetition establish a confessional mood, but more attention to imagery, lineation, and thematic development would strengthen its impact.

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