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This poem is part of the contest:

Disconnected Image Prompt Contest 🏆 Winner

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Feelings Lost

We once embraced and knocked our knees
Now we are tied to our phones and keys

Human interaction seems to fade away
As our internet capabilities are here to stay

Plucking away on the facebook page
Sends me into an inner rage

Watching our young and how they react
Has changed our lives and that’s a fact

How can we teach them how to enjoy a touch
A warm embrace, the thrill of a crush

Interaction is what we really need
To form a society that will be freed

To stop our moans and groans
We need to limit time on our phones!

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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neopoet

neopoet

11 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively communicates a common concern about the impact of technology on human interaction. The use of rhyme and rhythm is consistent, which aids in the readability of the poem.

However, the poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. Instead of stating "we are tied to our phones and keys", the poet could paint a more detailed picture of this scenario. This could involve describing the glow of the screen in a dark room, the sound of keys clicking, or the posture of a person hunched over their device.

The poem's message could also be strengthened by exploring the contrast between the past and the present more deeply. While the first two lines hint at a time before technology dominated, the rest of the poem focuses mainly on the present. More exploration of the past could make the loss feel more poignant.

The line "Sends me into an inner rage" introduces a personal emotion that is not explored elsewhere in the poem. If this is a key part of the poem's message, it could be beneficial to weave this personal perspective more consistently throughout the piece.

Lastly, the poem's conclusion suggests a solution to the problem, but it could be more impactful if it were expanded upon. The poet could explore the potential benefits of this solution, or the steps required to achieve it, to give the poem a more hopeful or proactive tone.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

11 months ago

Dear Clentin,

Excellent poem for the prompt...I wish you luck on the contest and I hope that your poem wins it for you!

*hugs Cat

Clentin

Clentin

11 months ago

Thank you. Just thoughts.

Thank you. Just thoughts. Today i saw a family at a restaurant each doing phones, no one talking. Sad
To see.
Advances are great but need to be used appropriately!

Thank you for reading my poems and comments. I really love your poems!

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

11 months ago

yes...

very sad! what have we created? also scary...

*hugs, Cat

Clentin

Clentin

11 months ago

Thank you, I hope!

Thank you, I hope!
Thank you for reading my poems and comments. Feel free to assist in titles, mistakes, form etc. criticism appreciated.

Rula

Rula

11 months ago

I found

Some lines longer than others which a bit affects the flow smoothness, however that could be only me, let's see what others might say.
Best wishes.

Geezer

Geezer

11 months ago

Great observations...

I totally agree with you, Clentin. The younger generation spends way too much time on their phones.
Of course, I see almost as many of the older generation, with their noses stuck in their phones, instead of trying to get the children to interact more, they sometimes, just give up and retreat into their own little world. Nice job! ~ Geez.
.

Clentin

Clentin

11 months ago

Thank you for reading and

Thank you for reading and comments. I saw the pic as old keeping what we knew as social interaction
And expression.
We too have also begun to use the cell and ipad more than we should!

Clentin

Clentin

11 months ago

Thank you for reading and

Thank you for reading and comments. I saw the pic as old keeping what we knew as social interaction
And expression.
We too have also begun to use the cell and ipad more than we should!