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May 12, 2025
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Finality
The finality of yesterday
began early yesterday morning.
The serenity and peace I feel today
is based on
the consecration of Shaya's tombstone.
It seemed like a long time to me,
but now that it has happened,
it happened at the right time,
and in the right way.
I still shared the stage with Sarah,
because she has done so much for me.
However,
this time
I was no longer in the fragile state
I was back then.
I am stronger than I was before.
I feel better.
I am ready to engage
in the next step.
That is why it feels so good.
It was Mother's Day,
11th May 2025,
and I had the consecration
in the morning
and then Mother's Day with the A Team
in the afternoon.
It was a beautiful day.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Yesterday, was the consecration of Shaya's tombstone. I am very happy that I have reached this stage and wrote two poems about it. It has been three years since his death but I eventually finalised things in the manner and in the way it should be done.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Finality" captures a sense of closure and renewal through the experience of consecrating Shaya's tombstone. The imagery of moving from yesterday's finality to today's peace is poignant. The contrast between feeling fragile in the past and now feeling stronger and ready for the next step is well conveyed. The specific details like sharing the stage with Sarah and the events of Mother's Day add depth to the narrative.
One suggestion for improvement would be to explore more vivid and sensory language to enhance the emotional impact of the poem. Additionally, consider refining the structure to create a more consistent flow throughout the piece. Finally, reflecting on the significance of the events and emotions described in a deeper and more introspective manner could further enrich the poem.
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