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Race_9togo
Race_9togo
Nov 05, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Finality of limit

Petty fights erupt on the film skin
of our tiny spinning rocky ball,
The hate invective screamed into
an envelope of clinging air so thin
it can’t be heard
above the limit of the wind
at all

The wide-eyed malicious evil grin
of those who love to make others crawl
in the slow dance of benighted war
while just beyond the planet’s spin
bright peace of mind
waits for the solar wind unwind
of all

for all the hate, the greed, the lies and sin
in the last wonder of spiral fall
poisoning Earth’s benighted core
will only last until the final spin
of tearing tide
beyond the unimportant pride
that eviscerates us all

About This Poem

Last Few Words: inspired by the Pale Blue Dot image sent back to us by Voyager I on February 14th, 1990.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

More from this author

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 7 months ago

Damn fine

Excellent job. I especially loved the authors note which lent some added relevance. Shifted perspective from internal to external. I’m internal so I tend to look at things that way first.

Good vocabulary,
Tim

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks Tim.

I was partially inspired, also, by the renewed discusion of Free verse versus rhyme. Structured poetry is not my forte, but its important to excersize those rhyming muscles once in a while, because I think it makes my free verse better in cadence, rhythym, and imagery.
Glad that you enjoyed it so much.

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 7 months ago

Yeah...

maybe everyone should have the experience of walking in space and looking down at this fragile little ball of blue, and the thin atmosphere that keeps us all from the cold stranglehold of the emptiness. Maybe, just maybe, we would see that we should learn to get along, because if we don't, and we ruin the one little piece of the universe that we have, there is no place else to go. Nice job of letting us see that. Good language, theme and understanding of our plight. ~ Geez.
.

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

2 years 7 months ago

Thanks Gee.

Yeah, I think we all would benefit from looking down at the curve of our world once in a while, or maybe even a little farther out from that. We really don't have anywhere else to go...yet.
Glad you enjoyed this one, my friend.

Seren

Seren

2 years 5 months ago

Ello YOU!!

Damn you still got it my brother; I love this poem but as usual I have a couple of suggestions if you are still editing this one

love and biggest hugs Sis x

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

2 years 4 months ago

Hi Oz Lady,

Editing or not, your criticism is ALWAYS welcome.
You know why.
Glad you think I still got it.
Even more glad that you call me 'brother', sister!
Go ahead, critique away!

>>BIG virtual hug<<

Seren

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dearest Bro

Firstly I hope you're blessedly well and your world spins smoothly. It's so damn good to see you back. The edit can wait, I'm so absolutely chuffed you're back.

Our family is coming home. we all gravitate away with life's tasks but the pull of the fibrils of family, always pulls us back.

I am glad so very glad you're back.

You've always been such a light here and I see you glowing!!!

With all my love your Sis from Oz (((((hugs))))

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 5 months ago

Please...

give Jim all my best? I am worried! thank you.

*love and hugs, Cat

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

2 years 4 months ago

I have missed you, too...

But I sincerely hope that your head did not spin around TOO much! ;)

It is good to be back. Even better, to read your words again.

Much love Cat, <<Big Virtual HUG>>

And you too, Eddy...just no hugs for you, 'cuz I value my LIFE ;)

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 4 months ago

Race, my dear...

it s so good to see you again. I always hang on your every word... I feel that you are my spokes person! you always say what I cannot and so beautifully, too! I love you,dear boy!

*love, Cat & eddy...you made me laugh, eddy

swamp-witch

swamp-witch

2 years 3 months ago

the hate invective

that's a doozy of a phrase, Race.

Good to see you here. I am freshly back. It's been a while!

Would you consider more commas in the following line?

tiny spinning rocky ball, --> tiny, spinning, rocky ball,

The flow of that line was choppy for me. Maybe it was intended to represent our spinning rocky ball, but I thought some commas might slow the reader down effectively.

Kelsey