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Jan 10, 2017
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Find Out What Gives You Passion
I used to sit and wonder
God gave me many gifts.
I never thought power or money
as making his great list.
What I do is put words together.
Not knowing what I'm going to build.
Knowing with the grace of God,
I will make it up that hill.
So if you ever wonder
what gift God gave to you.
Find out what gives you passion.
Then you'll know just what to do.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I truly feel that having a direction is the main thing. Knowing that what I write will be seen someday and maybe it will connect with someone that really needs the thoughts that overpower me everyday.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
5 years 5 months ago
Not bad...
I like the rhyme and it only breaks up a wee bit here and there. I would look a little closer at the third line. I think that changing it up a little would give it better flow. Maybe something like: "Never thought money or power" ? A nice little poem that shows what the author was thinking about when they wrote the poem. The title could be shorter, how about: What Gives You Passion? Language use is good and the theme fair. it was consistent all the way through and began and ended well. ~ Geezer.
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