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This poem is part of the contest:

2025 Neopoet Anthology Front Page Contest

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Firey words outside of rain town

The prairie is on fire
with flowers
caught in the act
of making forever hours
he opens his head
on the river bed
thoughts get devoured
he acquires new powers
refires his dreams
explores more themes
the hero coward
belly laughing
blood chants
the wind took his pants
while in sleep stance
the sand turned glass
where the earth laughed
cracks on the
seam, strands
of ancient mammoth paths between the thunder crash
& the hum of sunbeams
he needs to let it effect him by any means

So time is a song
and each note
lasts an eon
Of long
longing to be small
to be back with it all
don’t feel so tall
port of call
little ball
Sullen little pollen
warts and all
in slow crawl
seesaw
free fall
it’s all
anyone could have done
with feathers
for fingers
while you’re head
weighs a ton
some suns are bigger
than could be imagined

Feeling colossal cold
to the point of flame
Cursed with a tongue
that could never
speak his name
he awakened tossed back into the game ready for some more of the same

His daredevil walk
with his fox luck
Staring down the barrel
of a box truck
He remains caught
but not stuck
under rocks and sticks transfixed
in toxic shock
by the run off Creek
waiting out the clock
such a thick tick

sun god swaggers
into rain town
He walks to get lost
but he remains found
his sound is drowned out
and drained down
Rain people
touch the place
where the pains found

On the drop of the next roll
he takes stock of his soul
and the cold road’s toll
it’s all fools gold and coal
an empty flask
a dead friends list
of unfinished tasks
his unfinished thought
of days on a hill
full of laughter
and bask
and full fills
yet no spills
now all he has left
is his ask
has no choice
but to be exploited
all the years
in the woods
to avoid it
he wants one last game
before he gives his name
to the poison pit

Disheveled he revels
in the level of ultimate truth yet
He refuses to believe he’s still looking for proof

The prairie
all before
and
ever after
will never know any now

wearily the starlight son walks through the night sky suddenly
the air meets ground
for a tug a war
with a picket fence
fine folk will whence
under all the suspense thunder across the plain the rain feels the need
for a rinse
the sound of time
every color combines
to make black
so far the stars
turn their back
unconvinced
the evened odds
were stacked
against
the front/back
of this canvas

flying needles
with threads entangled make the sacred knot
in the shape of a heart in the shape of these
Kansas stanzas
the strings become cables strung across
land, lives and time songs the songs
that forever puncture songs that bind us
to this concert
the wind is weary
in this juncture
the earth
wants her to thunder
so together
the prairie eats
all permanent structures

some days
our only function
is to witness
the destruction
the song remains
the song belongs
as do all things
that feel the need to sing

Our player piece
drops to his knees
screaming for his name singing the same
crescendo
as that the wind blows
over his bluff
the clouds almost spell it
in fluff
his hollow lungs
hold a hallow hum
always
just smart enough
to play dumb
he’s got a pretend pull
from a pretend place
but he was
always in paradise
and the tears in his eyes are for a home
that is in a time
that is not in this space

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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neopoet

3 months 1 week ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem is ambitious in scope, taking on themes of transformation, identity, memory, and the cyclical nature of time, all set against a mythic prairie landscape. The language is energetic and inventive, with a willingness to leap between images and tones—from the surreal (“the wind took his pants / while in sleep stance”) to the elegiac (“the earth / wants her to thunder / so together / the prairie eats / all permanent structures”). The poem’s structure is loose and associative, with enjambment and short lines that create a sense of movement and improvisation.

The poem’s strengths lie in its vivid imagery and its commitment to a voice that is both mythic and personal. The recurring motifs of fire, rain, sun, and earth ground the poem in elemental forces, while the references to “hero coward,” “sun god,” and “starlight son” suggest archetypes that blur the line between individual and universal experience. The poem’s willingness to embrace contradiction (“caught but not stuck,” “colossal cold / to the point of flame”) adds to its complexity.

However, the poem’s associative structure can at times undermine its clarity. The rapid shifts in imagery and tone, while energetic, sometimes make it difficult to track the emotional or narrative through-line. For example, the transition from the prairie on fire, to the hero’s internal journey, to the surreal image of the wind taking his pants, can feel abrupt. The poem’s logic is often dreamlike, which is effective for evoking a sense of myth or fable, but may leave the reader searching for firmer connections between stanzas.

There are moments where the poem’s play with sound and rhyme is effective (“seesaw / free fall / it’s all / anyone could have done”), but at other times, the rhyme feels forced or distracts from the poem’s momentum (“his sound is drowned out / and drained down / Rain people / touch the place / where the pains found”). The use of slant rhyme and assonance is generally more successful than end rhyme, which can flatten the poem’s otherwise inventive language.

The poem’s conclusion gestures toward a sense of longing and displacement, with the “player piece” searching for a name and a home that exists outside of time and space. This is a resonant ending, but the poem might benefit from more focus or restraint in its closing lines, as the accumulation of images and ideas can risk overwhelming the reader.

Overall, the poem’s ambition and inventiveness are notable, but it would benefit from greater attention to coherence and pacing. Consider where the poem might slow down to allow images or emotions to resonate, and where connections between stanzas or motifs could be clarified. The poem’s mythic scope is a strength, but grounding the reader more firmly in the speaker’s experience could heighten its impact.

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