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D
Dalton
May 20, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

First Aisling

There's a girl in Clonmel
Black hair black eyes

There's a girl in Clonmel
Like an animal like a ghost

There's a girl in Clonmel
Like a deer like a mist

There's a girl in Clonmel
Like the gates of dawn

There's a girl in Clonmel
Like the winds in the night

There's a girl in Clonmel
Like the sky the sky

(Dedicated to my Grandma
"Charlie" Brown)

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

More from this author

Comments

Lavender

Lavender

1 month ago

First Aisling

Hello, John,
Mysterious, gentle, free-spirited, fearless - wonderful title for a dear homage. I googled the town - beautiful with so much history, which adds to the magical flavor of this piece!
Thank you!
L

D

Dalton

1 month ago

Dear Lavender

The word Aisling is a woman's name which also means dream in irish. There was a trend in irish poetry in the 18th century when it was outlawed by the British to reference the name of Ireland in poetry so such dream poems arose using coded language like Rousin Dubh and the like meaning little black rose as a symbol for the nation. I have another poem which I'll submit called "Last Aisling" this one as most of my poems are utterly romantic love poems. Thanks for your read and comment. You must research Aisling poetry Dark Rosaleen by 19th century poet James Clarence Mangan or Brightness of Brightnesses by Aoghan O'Rathaille or Uirchill an Chreagain by Art McCooey also as a beautiful song by Clannad. I write love poetry because all I care about is love

Love John xxx

D

Dalton

1 month ago

Dear Lavender

Try googling Uirchill an Chreagain by Clannad it's a typical Aisling and you can find the English translation. I'm sure it will touch your poetic heart xxx

Lavender

Lavender

1 month ago

Hello, John,

It has such a rich, soothing sound enhancing the dreamlike lyrics. What a lovely experience to listen to this and sense the meaning and history it holds.
L

D

Dalton

1 month ago

Hi Lavender

Glad you enjoy music is for the soul and along with honing craft through study and practice and day to day life we improve as writers music is the food of the soul as well as the food of love as the bard once stated xxx

D

Dalton

1 month ago

Hi Lavender

I should be writing protest songs but all I can muster is silly love poems all I care about is love

D

Dalton

1 month ago

Hi Lavender

Have added that poem "Last Aisling" that I mentioned I composed years ago which features In my first complete published volume of poetry "Warder of Stars Poems of John Ellis" I'd love for you to read Last Aisling and compare it to this dreamy love poem it's more in depth xxx

D

Dalton

1 month ago

Check WB Yeats

Check WB Yeats "Song of Wandering Aengus" Aengus is the Irish love god and it's a beautiful Aisling type poem though thoroughly romantic