Neopoet Random Challenge 7

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On first teaching( Butterflies in my stomach challenge)

First day of class
How many students
Ah the schedule says twelve

They have come to learn
but can I teach
they know nothing of writing but I do

I speak and I am a voice
outside of me
do they know I am as nervous as they?

Ah but the butterflies are still there
although they do not show
my heart is beating louder than a drum
can they hear it as well?

It s their first day as well as mine
but we will both
survive

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north carolina usa, USA

Favorite Poets: Leonard Cohen, Edgar Alan Poe, ray Bradbury, John Grissom, .Alan S Jeeves James patterson,

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

3 years 9 months ago

Where is...

the line that makes it part of the challenge? Nervous might be described as shaky knees, rubber-legs, palpitations, etc. I see nothing about butterflies in the stomach. ~ Gee.
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c lynn brooks

3 years 9 months ago

Gee

hmmm you are right going to revise that a bit

Geezer

3 years 9 months ago

Nice...

Now, what about changing the first line of the last stanza? Instead of: [as well as], how about, "It is their first day, like mine..."
~ Geez.
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c lynn brooks

3 years 9 months ago

Gee

Thanks for the suggestions Yes I made some changes now it reflects the challenge

Geezer

3 years 9 months ago

Nicely done...

I see that you added your own flavor to it and I think it's better than my suggestion. ~ Geez.
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