Barbara Writes

Oct 22, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Flower Power

It is sickening to be sick again,
Pain turning life insane.
The gains feeling thirty once more
Lasts but a mayfly's gaze.

Penning stories of murder, horror
Thrills and soars the power
To feed the latent talent
With flowers that cover defeat.

Tomorrow is another day
Tonight is there to view.
The flowers' power refreshes the soul,
My youthful thirties bloom.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Comments

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Gem

I hope you feel better. I'm feeling better with my flower of power.

raj

10 years 8 months ago

a good way to express pleasure n pain....nice to know it made you feel better. In first two stanzas you were good with the rhyme...I am sure you will work on this to get the rhyme right in the third stanza as well...take good care and be well..

Regards,

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Raj

Yes I shsll try. I was feeling crappy when I wrote it. Now after taken care to take my place in flowers with power I'm feeling much better but can't skeep. Sleep earlier

raj

10 years 8 months ago

Of course I appreciate the

Of course I appreciate the fact that you wrote thios when you were not 100% into your elements, which in itself is commendable

just a suggestion for the concluding line

Tomorrow is another day
And tonight is just ahead.
The flower of power has me feeling new
As if my youthful thirties blooming anew

hope you are able to catch up with sleep...must be pretty late out there..

Regards,

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Raj

Thanks I like it .

Tomorrow’s another day
A night of insomnia just ahead
Flower of power a sunshine’s ray
I feel again like I'm thirty instead…

raj

10 years 8 months ago

Barbara

Good to know you liked it and adopted it ....the one tweaked up by you above also looks good...

Regards,

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Raj

Thanks my glow isn't as smooth as yours.

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Gem

Not at all. Glad you are here. And your revision of my poem is welcomed. I think I will use it as you didn't in my mind change the meaning or direction I was going. I don't rhyme every stanza going back to one of Stan's ws. Will be back that later as WS subject has slipped my mind. Rhyming wasn't a major concern here. I was simply writing. Hoping to create something good from the bad called pain

Thanks for visiting.