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Jul 29, 2019
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Fly From The Sky In July (July Contest)
Fly From The Sky In July
With a big dump of snow
Frozen waves grow
Curling over like an ocean breaker
But still
Deadly
Quite Still
Called a cornice
Quite enormous
No visible harness
An avalanche before it launches,
Itself earthward
So me and Jase,
Eighteen and invincible
Would climb to the top,
edge to the edge of the edge of the cornice
till the world fell away
and we skied sky, snow and adrenaline
And did not die.
Fuck knows why.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Adrenaline, pure pleasure to an adolescent.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
5 years 11 months ago
Whoa!
The first time ever I've entered a poetry contest.
The guidelines stipulated pentameter but not what sort (Iambic , Trochaic , Spondaic , Anapestic , Dactylic , Amphibrachic , Pyrrhic ? What?) so I ignored that and stuck with quatrains.
scribbler
5 years 11 months ago
See
It didn't hurt a bit to enter did it? lol. Best of luck in contest
weirdelf
5 years 11 months ago
It sure did!
My anarchist mates blew up my house.
weirdelf
5 years 11 months ago
Dunni who phrased thecontest but it was bad.
A pentameter is noithing by itself without a meter so I gnored that and quatrains are simply verses in four lines.
Hope it doesn't count against me that I'm an arrogant knw-it-all bastard. I do.
Geezer
5 years 11 months ago
This is...
a blast! Adrenaline! I wonder about the people that you meet in life; that have no emotions; the ones that wouldn't cry out in joy or terror, no matter what and have no interest in doing anything even slightly out of the box; just for the sake of adrenaline! Ahhhhhh, Nice job, in bringing a little breathlessness to your poem! ~ Gee.
.
weirdelf
5 years 11 months ago
wow!
ta mate. glad it worked for you.