Neopet Random Challenge # 14

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Follow Me random challenge #14 :by eddy styx

Follow Me (by: eddy styx)

"follow me" I whisper
as I take her hand,
down to the fen
where snakes and gators
find a wet murky home.
"I'll keep you safe
for I'm familiar with the track
where the marsh grass grows
thick and high and black."
we will slowly make a new path
to the very heart of the bog
rising up to meet us,
a thin misty fog
and the moon is blotted out
by rising blueish vapor.
watch it swirl all around us
you shiver as a chill overcomes you.
distracted by your whereabouts
I slowly back away from you
soon you are alone in the marsh
it swallows you leaving you
utterly and completely
alone and on your own,
as I wait in silence...

About This Poem

Last Few Words: eddy styx is my MALE alter ego who writes dark poetry.

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft