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S
scribbler
Nov 17, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

AS FOOTPRINTS FADE

Like footprints in the melting snow
our past lives fade away
while leaving hints of where we'll go
from their seeming course we often stray.

The future is the breaking dawn
a day promised but not yet here
a figment we depend upon
as its focus becomes clear.

My path has led me many ways
both random and chosen with care
which disappear in the past's haze
as if I wasn't ever truly there.

I stop and look back on my track
in the slushy melting snow
then go on, no more looking back
for I've still many miles to go.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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More from this author

Comments

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

fade

I had actually considered both variations and will make a change in edit. Always good to see you and hear your suggestions........stan

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

footsteps

This started as 2 separate poems that were going to dead ends that I decided belonged together. Thanks for the read.........stan

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

footsteps

Hope the thinking didn't result in a headache lol. Write was attempt to show futility of living in the past or putting too much stock in the future. Always glad to see you here........scribbler

M

magics02

14 years 7 months ago

Spot on Stan

I love this one as it is written so well. I see a change in your writing and it is a positivity I feel also. In one line the comma is hanging out in the middle of the sentence, just one small thing that popped out to me. Nothing and that does not take away the passion of this write. Excellent in my book:)

Blessings to you
Mona

S

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

foot prints

Getting sloppy with my comma spacing lol. I am glad to see you back on my page Mona........stan

S

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

fade

good of you to visit and leave such a kind comment........scribbler

S

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

footprints

Reckon I agree with you as edit has yet lol.Actually wanted to use both, but it just doesn't work that way. Hope weather is warming for you......stan

loved

loved

14 years 7 months ago

UUUUU RRRRRRRR

THE BEST SCRIBLER

I'VE COME ACROSS

NEXT TO MY FOOTBALL DRIBBLER

BUT OF COURSE
I ‘LL STAY
AS U SAY
AND HOPE U'LL CONTINUE
TO ENTER MY DRIVE WAY
HOPEFULLY
SOME MORE DAWNS
FROM TODAY

I SAY IT IN CAPITALS
I DO PRAY
U WILL THINK
IT’S A SMALL WAY

S

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

fade

thanks loved. I see you're still after me for capitalizing my titles huh? ............scribbler

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

14 years 7 months ago

Scribbler

It's all good; nothing to critique.
I get the strong message of "look down at where you place your feet, not where they were".
So true, and so skillfully portrayed.

S

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

fade

You got it about right. The only real control we have in life is ability to control the now. Appreciate the read..........scribbler