Lavender

Jan 09, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Forecast

...and then, snow.

I am cocooned in the warmth
of my bed, beneath the veil of
darkness that silences the day.

Winter has sheathed the windows,
the downspout, the mailbox now opened
by the quick hand of a wind bullying through.

I hear the 12:04 train along the tracks,
chanting like a monk, parting the
frigid air with a releasing, "Om."

There is a great storm predicted, and I am
aware of salt trucks, and the rush for bread
and milk. But the train decrees a feeling

that all is well, or perhaps, routine for
the moment. This moment, when the sidewalk
is visible, when the roof of the house is still unheavy,

when the last step I took to enter from the yard
is still unseen. I leave my comfort and pull back
the thick curtain. A street light sends shadows

along the vacant alley. A small creature makes
its way to the underbrush as a commanding
snowflake floats diligently past my window.

With savvy, it touches down. I can almost
hear the sound it makes as one of its
six perfect points alarms the earth...

something similar to, "ping!"

About This Poem

Last Few Words: We received more snow than many years past - that first flake felt very ominous. I don't believe "unheavy" is a real word, but the image seemed right. Thank you for reading! L

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

mark

5 months 4 weeks ago

Classic!

From Pat,"This is really good."
From me, well the subject line can say no more.
:~)
Mark

Lavender

5 months 4 weeks ago

Hello, Mark,

Thank you both so much! Did you receive a lot of snow, too? A little harder to deal with as I get older...
L

mark

5 months 4 weeks ago

No we didn't get any

Saturday though 1-3
You are welcome from both of us.
Mark

Ray Miller

5 months 4 weeks ago

Lots to like, the 2nd and 3rd stanza I felt were best, the train chanting like a monk is special. I can never understand why poets end lines with the likes of "the" and "for" and "of". I've asked many people and never got a sensible answer, So...

darkness that silences the end of day. - Probably don't need "end of"

Lavender

5 months 4 weeks ago

Hello, Ray,

Interesting note about "of" and "the" dangling at the end of lines here. It was not the intention so much to end the sentences there, but to start the beginning of the next sentences with "darkness" and "frigid" - wanting to keep the full uninterrupted thought together for image and strength. I do like your suggestion to remove "end of" and will gratefully use it!
Thank you for reading!
L

Ruby Lord

5 months 4 weeks ago

Hi Lavender, the relationship

Hi Lavender, the relationship between nature and its power, the storm, to the practicalities of routine ground the reader in the tension of what's to come. Enjoyed this, well done, Ruby xxx :)

Lavender

5 months 4 weeks ago

Hello, Ruby,

I'm glad you felt the tension in this. I definitely wanted it to be understood.
Thank you, as always!
L

Rula

5 months 4 weeks ago

Hello my friend

How grateful I'm for your ability to describe the "timing event(s)
As usual you did a great job here telling all about that storm. I heard about it on the TV but of course it has a different taste when you show with your pen.
I am not sure I got this line and would appreciate any hint
"six perfect points alarms the earth"
Thank you for sharing as always.

Lavender

5 months 4 weeks ago

Hello, Rula!

Thank you for visiting! "...hear the sound it makes as one of its six perfect points alarms the earth..." refers to the first snowflake touching the ground, giving notice as to what will follow - a huge snowstorm. The snowflake is crystal-like, and an alarm many times makes a "ping" sound, so I thought it to be appropriate. I'll look it over a bit.
Thank you for your comments!
Lx

Rula

5 months 3 weeks ago

Dearest Lavender

You're absolutely a distinguished poet with your quill.
How tender is that detailed thought.
Thank you for sharing dear.

Lavender

5 months 3 weeks ago

Hello, Rula,

I changed a word or two. Thank you for your help and suggestions. I am always grateful!
Lxx

Rula

5 months 3 weeks ago

I really like the edits

and I thought that last stanza is very brilliant in many ways, short and yet rings so true!
Thank you

Tigger Kaz

5 months 3 weeks ago

Wonderful words

I felt like I was there. The contrast between the cozy and calm (the routine), and the impending snow storm threatening to disrupt.

I loved the line "as a commanding snowflake floats diligently past my window". Giving that tiny snowflake both purpose, and a sense of power.

Loved it!

Lavender

5 months 3 weeks ago

Hello, Tigger,

Yes, that tiny snowflake was leading the "invasion" so to speak. We got 10" the first snowfall, and an additional 4" a few days later. But, in actuality, it is simply an annoyance for most of us, and we're helping one another dig out.

However, the lives of our poor, poor fellow citizens in LA have been devastated. Mother Nature is speaking...

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
L